Bloodsucking Fiends

Bloodsucking Fiends by Christopher Moore

Synopsis

Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching back, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her. Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that’s where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door…and proceeds to rock Tommy’s life — and afterlife — in ways he never thought possible.

Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story
Christopher Moore
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Publication: March 2008
Genre: Urban fantasy, Paranormal, Vampire fiction
Personally purchased title
Locate: amazon | b&n | worldcat Rated: ★★★★

Bloodsucking Fiends by Christopher Moore

This turned out to be such a quick read. Before I knew it, the end had come long before I was ready for it, which left me glad that there was a second in the series, which I hope to start soon. This was a solid book, very humorous with a great flow. The characters seem ludicrous and larger than life, but at the same time, grounded in the reality of their world. Vampire Jody struggles with her very human issues while having to navigate through this new nocturnal life, which makes her so much more relatable than a character who only worries about their new vampiric life and how to survive. Jody has a suffocating mother to placate, a confused human minion/boyfriend/roommate to maneuver, and an array of self image issues to wade through before even touching her possible immortality. Meanwhile, human minion Tommy seems more than willing, at first, to completely forget about his own issues of inadequacies and loneliness, preferring instead,to deal with Jody’s condition. And then there is her mysterious creator who keeps constant tabs on her…. All in all, it is a very quirky, very fun and lighthearted book. A refreshing read for those tired of the gloomy and brooding bloodsuckers saturating the market. 

Quotes & Excerpts

Tommy recoiled as if he’d been spit on. “A vampire florist?” “Well, once you accept the vampire part, the florist part is a pretty easy leap, don’t you think?”
Chapter 4: Blooms and the City of Burned Clutches

Before she could say hello, a gravelly calm male voice said, “By the way, you’re not immortal. You can still be killed.”
Chapter 5: Undead and Somewhat Slightly Dazed

I can’t believe I’m being this aggressive, Jody thought. I hear myself say these things and it’s as if they’re coming out of someone else’s mouth. And he just agrees. I’d have become a tramp a long time ago if I’d known what a great sense of control it gives you.
Chapter 9: He Knows If You’ve Been Bad or Good, So You’d Better. . .

“You really are a vampire.” It was a statement this time. “Yes, Tommy. I am.” He paused for a second to think, then said, “That’s the coolest thing I’ve ever heard. Let’s do it with our shoes off.”
-Chapter 14: Two Losts Do Not Make A Found

“I have to look to the future, you know. When I’m a famous writer I’m going to have to go on book tours. She can’t go with me. What can I say, ‘No, I’m sorry, but I can’t go. If I go away my wife will starve to death’?”
-Chapter 22: A Nod to the Queen of the Damned

“You know, Peary, scientists have frozen vampire bats and thawed them completely unharmed. I mean, how would she know? How many times has she thought it was Tuesday when it was really Wednesday?” […] He opened the lid of the freezer, then went into the bedroom to get Jody. He carried her into the kitchen and laid her in the freezer on top of Peary. As he tucked her into the fetal position he felt a twinge of jealousy. “You guys behave now, okay?”He tucked a few TV dinners around her nice and snug under arms, then kissed her on the forehead and gently closed the lid.
-Chapter 28: Is That a Blackjack in Your Pocket?

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About Lulu

Thirty-something year old educator based in New York, Lulu loves books, blogging, gaming, and the three cats with whom she shares her life. Book reviews specialize in all kinds of fantasy, some YA, some romance, and some contemporary, especially in the gothic genre.